Quirino Cristiani and the Fragility of Art

  

        The first ever animated feature film was an Argentine political satire known as El Apostol, which translates to The Apostle in English. It was directed by Italian-born animator Quirino Cristiani, who was by all means an innovator both in his pioneering of simplistic cut out animation and of the animated feature film as we know it. And, to be honest, The Apostle haunts me. Not because I’ve seen it and I was scared of the rickety old cardboard puppets or something like that, but because I literally can’t see it. In fact, nobody can see it because it and the large majority of his other work, one of which was the first animated feature film with sound, was all lost in two separate fires in 1957 and 1961. Cristiani died in 1984 with almost none of his art left and with basically no name recognition outside of hardcore animation nerds. This story haunts me.

This story tells of an artist, one who put his life’s work into making art that innovated and influenced the course of his medium’s history, only to be overshadowed by those with more money and influence than he ever had, and all for his art to literally be destroyed out of sheer ambivalence and ignorance. The entire idea of lost media terrifies me. There’s a reason why people give so much of a shit about video game preservation, because they don’t want the classic titles of the medium to be lost to the sands of time the same way so many classic films of the silent era were. 

The mere fact that somebody could just callously put a match to celluloid and not realize that they’re destroying a piece of history speaks to my fears and anxieties as an artist. What if my work follows the paths of so many other filmmakers’ work and becomes lost? What will happen to my work after I die? Will people even look at or think about my work after I die? Is what I’m doing even important? Or is it just a hobby I do to keep myself from going insane? Do I matter? Will anything I ever do actually matter?

What are the answers to these questions? I don’t know. None of this really matters in the end. Animation is still great despite all of the lost art we can now never learn from. Film is still great despite all of the lost art we can now never learn from. Music is still great, video games are still great, paintings are still great, books are still great, internet videos are still great, everything’s fine.

But when I hear a story like the one of The Apostle, all I can think about is what could have been. Animators and artists from all around the world could have been able to learn from this master and his innovative films. He could have been renowned amongst film fans as a pioneer of a bold new medium and an important figure in film history. Or, maybe his movies sucked ass and he would have been nothing but a footnote in the long and storied history of animation and film. Nobody knows or will know the answers to these questions. But all of them keep me awake at night.

Prince - Dirty Mind (1980)

Some people may not be too keen on that cover, but I think it's an absolutely perfect summary of the music. It's a black and white photo, something old-timey and familiar, contrasted with the image it actually holds. Prince wearing nothing but a ridiculous jacket, a bandana, and underwear, surrounded by these odd patterns and behind text that simply says "PRINCE". The music is just like the cover. It's familiar, yet transgressive. It's like the popular music of the 50s, 60s, and 70s, except it's not. It's revolutionary, and it's alien. Maybe it's the synths, or the falsetto vocals, or the overt sexuality, or the fact that it sounds like it was recorded in a basement. But it makes it feel like something big just happened. Odd for such a lowkey and short record, but it's true. This was the beginning of 80s pop, and pop music as we knew it would never be the same. Just one listen to that opening track and you understand. This is not Prince's best record, definitely not (that honor goes to the classic Nurple Brains), but it's certainly his greatest statement as an artist and a pop musician. Rest in peace, you skeevy bastard.

9/10

The Mothers of Invention - Mothermania (1969)

This one is a compilation of songs from the first three Mothers of Invention records. There are some excellent picks on here, and while it has some odd choices, I could think of much worse ways people could get into the early Mothers material. It also works as a recap of slightly more accessible material before the borderline impenetrable Uncle Meat.

8/10

The Mothers of Invention - Cruising With Rueben and the Jets (1968)

Frank takes an interesting turn here with Cruising With Rueben and the Jets, which is just a full-on doo-wop/R&B record. Not even a jokey one, at that! These songs are the real deal. It opens with "Cheap Thrills", an absolutely wonderful tune. If you don't like this song, chances are you won't be a big fan of Rueben and the Jets. Then there's "Love of my Life", an amazing love song, and a contender for the best love song in his whole catalog. Then there's a decent but not fantastic reprise of "How Could I Be Such a Fool?" off of Freak Out!, and another great love song in "Deseri". Unfortunately, the record really drops off after that. There are some more remakes of songs off Freak Out! on here, but they all range from mediocre to just plain bad. There are a few good originals from then on out, such as "Jelly Roll Gum Drop" and the closer, "Stuff Up the Cracks", but it just can't keep up. A decent enough album if you're in the mood for greasy love songs and worse redos of songs from much better albums, but not one I think about or revisit often.

6/10

Neil Hamburger - Hot February Night (2007)

Taking a quick detour from Zappa to discuss one of the greatest comedy albums of all time, Hot February Night! Neil Hamburger, if you aren't in the know, is a comedic alias of the great Gregg Turkington. He is a crude and offensive insult comedian who specializes in pissing off thousands of audience members with his provocative form of anti-comedy. And this album shows this aspect off greater than any other, as Neil has been given the chance to open for famous comedy rock duo Tenacious D, in front of a crowd of hundreds of angry frat boys and Jack Black fangirls. And it's just as genius as it sounds. He comes out on stage with rousing applause and cheering, one girl even yelling "We love you Neil!" Everything seems okay until Neil makes his first joke (a very tasteless gag about Paris Hilton's Christmas), and the audience seems more confused than anything. Then after he makes his second joke of the evening, the boos begin, Neil reacts with an insult, and the whole show just goes off the rails from there. Jokes about Tommy Hilfinginger, the Day the Music Died, fecal breath, and Dark Side of the Moon continue to rile up the audience until Neil is booed off stage in the end. Absolutely marvelous. Check this album out, it is absolutely a comedic masterpiece. This man is my hero.

Audience: "You suck! You suck! You suck!"

Neil: "Yeah, I suck money out of your wallets and into mine!"

10/10

Frank Zappa and the Abnuceals Emuukha Electric Symphony Orchestra - Lumpy Gravy (1968)

This album came about when Frank had to make a solo album for the record label, and he wanted to just make an instrumental album. The label refused so blah blah blah words words words and in 1968 Frank shot this incredibly bizarre and borderline impenetrable record out onto record shelves. If you want a comprehensive history of Zappa, go to the Wikipedia pages, I'm just here to talk about the music. Anyways, Lumpy Gravy! This album takes a while to grow on you, but once it does, it has this almost prankster meets music student vibe that you can't help but love. This very much is just a giant collage of whatever Frank had lying around. Weird dialogue, actual orchestral pieces, random sounds, pieces of tape music, it's all there in one messy and brilliant package. If I were to get someone into Zappa, I would probably choose almost any album that wasn't this, but if you love Zappa, this is a must listen.

8/10

The Mothers of Invention - We're Only in it for the Money (1968)

Yep, this is my favorite Zappa record. A genius piece of satire and comedic pop music, with spastic songwriting, plenty of quotable and memorable lines and moments, and a dry wit and attitude that drives the whole project. We're Only in it for the Money is a satire of the then-blossoming hippie and "flower power" culture, the music that surrounded it, and the way others reacted to it. It's unrelentingly critical and honest about these aforementioned hippies, but it doesn't even flinch when bringing up and criticizing the police and the brutality they perpetrated towards the hippies, and the parents who raised these kids, the type of upbringing that would lead one to become a "flower child". And heck, those are just the lyrics, I haven't even gotten into the songs, most of which are hilarious skewerings of the kind of music that came out of this culture, but it also all has this very distinct Zappa-y personality and sarcasm to it, especially when the sound collage and experimental sections come in, which is really when the album takes a fascinating turn. I'm neglecting mentioning any song names here because it just feels weird to listen to any of these songs outside of the context of the record. For God's sake, just listen to it, you will not regret it.

10/10